Re-Post Turning 42 in 2007

Friday, February 23, 2007

Holy 42nd Birthday...All I want is some control (top pantyhose, that is) this year!

I found a picture from my 22nd birthday that makes me reflect on my birthday today. Seems like just a split hair second ago that I was 22 getting photographed at a table in Pat O'Brien's courtyard. All of us wearing vintage hats with our hip designer clothes (I am taking some writer's liberty here as I have never been very hip and most of my designer clothes were hand me downs from my brother) drinking hurricanes and smiling like the world was our oyster. Of course we were the pearls with our cute little figures, shiny hair and endless supply of energy.

Fast forward at hyper-speed to today. I still have not achieved any vestige of hipness. Vintage hats deteriorate in the humid heat of the south and unfortunately so does the body. My cute little figure takes a lot of outside maintenance to keep it even a little bit cute. I consider myself very lucky however as I have the luxury of a personal trainer who is happy to spend my birthday with me at the gym. She really is just amazing and such an inspiration to me. Paramount in my book, she has an wicked sense of humor and she loves David Lee Roth. There is nothing better than laughing through ab crunches because I some how rolled off the ball while Van Halen is blaring in the background.

22 to 42 - my mind says, "You are the same, you can do cartwheels." Note to readers do not ever listen to your mind when you have consumed 5 Jack and Diet Coke tumblers. But taking stock in the mirror there are quite a few differences.

1. Oh where, oh where have my boobs gone? Just because all of God's creatures leave my current Northern residence to go south does not mean my boobs needed to go that way as well.
2. I have many de ja vous moments with blue cheese sightings. I think to myself "where did I see this before?" and then I realize it was this morning in the bathroom mirror as I was getting my stockings pulled on.
3. I now understand the why the word "muffin top" is used in conjunction with tight jeans.
4. Glasses who needs glasses, I can read fine if my nose touches the pages.
5. David Lee needs hair extensions at least I just have to touch up a little color now and then (okay it's a lot of touch-up and I do find myself fixated with Rogaine Ads)
6. I can't wave bye-bye sleeveless with out looking like I am about to take flight into the bat cave.
7. I used to believe I could live on Love. The hell with Love give me dark chocolate and wine - Make it Fast and bring it NOW!!!!!!
8. Drugs were great for kick-starting diets. Drugs are now necessary for surviving housework, children, husband, pets, work, laundry, dishes - oh did I mention the husband?
9. It takes a village to remove all of the unwanted hair from my face.
10. What's that creaking sound? No it's not a loose floorboard those are my knees bending!
11. A hot time for me is a steamy shower with my anti-aging body scrub and the miracle cellulite remover. (see number 2 on how that cellulite remover is working for me!)
12. I end up in rooms and can't remember why I went in there or what I was looking for...
13. I just want a pair of jeans that I can sit down in without flashing the world my butt crack!

I would wave bye-bye now but Batman needs me to use my amazing triceps to fly him south on my cushioned boobs to rid the world of unwanted facial hair! Oh wait, how did I end up in the kitchen again?!?

Peace and Greens
Debalicious