Free to a Good Home - One Gently Used Uterus

I am starting a movement to have removable body parts - I'm sure there are a lot of us who have some thing hanging around that we really don't need anymore. It could be a set of old earlobes that at one time looked really cutting edge wicked with a hole the size of Denali Park in them thanks to the cool discs the size of bone china tea saucers you kept adding to each lobe.

Perhaps you have a slightly aged flabby pec that was tattooed when it was a firm 20 something muscle but now your Wilmaforever tattoo is reading more like Wilmaforeverandeverandever. At the time it was a body part that seemed to be of some use whether it was akin to the plumage of the polygynous birds of paradise used to attract mates or a part that has been hanging around since birth but has worn out it's welcome on your over-taxed aging body.

Personally, the first thing I would detach and give away would be my uterus. It has served my purpose and I am sure there is a nice family out there who has the time and energy to give it the care it deserves. Or I would be glad to make a trade, I would be happy to have a nice penis. At this point in my life I have much more use for my own personal penis without a male body attached to it. Oh the joy of my penis getting excited when I came home each day, jumping up to meet me and giving me unconditional satisfaction and love. The freedom of being able to get paid what my male counterparts earn just by bringing my penis to work with me each day. And joy of all joys, I would jump the first ice cutter with my penis in hand (wrapped in thinsulate of course to ensure it's comfort) to sail to the arctic circle where I would spend countless days writing my name in the snow. I know my penis would be missed by his previous owner but he would be in a good hands with me and if it didn't work out for my little penis friend I can send him to a penis rescue society that would ensure placement in a good nurturing home.

I have been researching e-bay and craig's list for other uterus sellers but so far no retailers have been located. I think a gently used on-line uterus boutique is way overdue! There are so many uses for a uterus still in good condition - you can use it as a coin purse and once a month it will expand into a handy overnight bag. It makes a very fashionable party hat or cutting edge light shade - play your cards right and you may be able to utilize one uterus in so many crafty ways. I would recommend pulling out the ole bedazzler and giving it your own special personal flare.

Watch your local paper for my new business explosion. Uterus R Us - coming soon - all uteri are accepted and if yours has special talent we will highlight it with the spotlight profile. We accept cash, paypal, money orders and of course I will barter for a good slightly used penis - yeah, like there is such a thing as a gently used penis!!!!